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relationship between the families of the young man and the young woman.
The best example of this is the Betrothal. For Knānites, it is an initial
agreement and fixing of the marriage, in which the extended family, in the
24
persons of their paternal uncles, is involved, not only the couple to be wed.

Betrothal itself was called “Clasping of Hands” (Kaipidutham),
which is shown by the clasping of hands by their paternal uncles in the
presence of the priest in the church. The idea is that the paternal uncles take
up the responsibility to conduct the marriage according to the agreement
made at that time. It is to respect the responsible elder and to stress the idea
of entering into a family relationship. It means that not just the fathers but
all the close kith and kin of the couple are earnestly and wholeheartedly
25
involved in the new relationship.
This practice also proclaims the collective responsibility of the
26
family, mutual respect, unity of the family, and respect for elders. Even
until recently, the maternal uncles of the couple used to come together at the
27
erection of the poles for the temporary hall (Pandal) for the festivity of the
wedding. The invited uncle was given a water bowl (Kindy) by the uncle of
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the other party for rinsing and hand washing. So also, the “dowry” was
handed over, not to the groom or to his father, but to the groom’s paternal

24 Cf. VELLIAN, J., Knānite Community History and Culture, Syrian Church Series Vol.
XVII, Jyothi Book House, Kottayam, 2001, p. 17.
25 Cf. VELLIAN, J., “Marriage Customs of the Kinanites”, in J. VELLIAN (ed.), Crown,
Veil, Cross, Syrian Church Series Vol. XV, Kottayam, 1990, pp. 32-33.
26 Cf. PULLAPPALLY, JOHN P. M., “Socio-religious Customs of Knānites (Malayalam)”,
in J. VELLIAN (ed.), Symposium on Knānites, The Syrian Church Series, Vol. XII,
Kottayam, 1986, pp. 105-106.
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A thatched shed put up artistically and well decorated for the marriage celebrations at the
house.
28
The dowry among the St. Thomas Christians was understood as the legal share of a girl
obtained from her parental family in order to form a new family with her husband. It was
also the best assurance against any possible ill-treatment on the part of the husband towards
his wife. But nowadays it is sometimes transformed to be a social evil where dowry
becomes a bargaining. The government enacted legalism making dowry illegal, evidently to
the advantage of the poorer families. But it has limited impact on the basis of the
understanding of dowry as the girl’s share in her father’s property. The ancient tradition of
giving one tenth of the dowry to the parish adds to the sacredness of dowry transaction and
signifies the family’s gratitude to the mother church. This kind of share was called
“Pasāram”. Cf. FONSECA, J., Marriage in India in a Christian Perspective, Redemptorist
Publications, Bangalore, 1988, p. 149. See also M. KOIKARA, The Sacredness of
Marriage and Family in the Cultural Milieu of St. Thomas Christians, Academia
Alfonsiana, Rome, 1988, pp. 20-22.

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