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Malayalam wedding songs. The resemblance in wording, content and style
20
of the wedding songs of both these communities is striking.
3.7.2 Betrothal

The ceremony of betrothal among the St. Thomas Christians has a
quasi binding character. They can also withdraw if there are sufficient
21
reasons. On a pre-decided day the future spouses, parents, and relatives
come to the church, along with two witnesses, and the priest asks the
consent of the spouses, and they give their consent verbally. The priest also
asks the two witnesses whether they witness to the consent-given; then he
blesses the couple. The Syro-Oriental tradition considers the betrothal
ceremony as indispensible as pre-participation in the mystery of marriage.
Thus it is celebrated with the solemnity of marriage itself. This has all the
characteristics of marriage except that it does not grant the partners the right
to co-habiting and consummate the marriage, until they are joined
22
sacramentally.
3.7.2.1 Pre-Marital Chastity

Among the St. Thomas Christians in general, not even for a single
day do the couple live together before they are married. It is considered to
be an immoral act, which would bring disgrace to the family. Pre-marital
chastity is held in high esteem in the life of a St. Thomas Christian, even
today. Parents as well as their girls consider pre-marital chastity as an
important quality in the girl’s life. Girls, on their part, cherish a deep desire
to offer themselves in their virginal purity to their spouse. The prohibition of
pre-marital co-habiting among the St. Thomas Christians is one of the
important factors that contribute to the stability of marriage among them.
Co-habiting before the marriage (nissuin) is also considered taboo according
23
to Jewish tradition.
3.7.2.2 Initiation of Communion between Two Families

The wedding ceremonies stress that the sacrament of marriage is not
just a contract between the spouses alone, but an entering into a contract and

20
Cf. Ibid., pp. 82-84.
21 Cf. KOIKARA, M., The Sacredness of Marriage and Family in the Cultural Milieu of St.

Thomas Christians, Academia Alfonsiana, Rome, 1988, p.25.
22 Cf. Ibid., p. 26.
23
Cf. Ibid., p. 27.

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